The day was dawning under heavy clouds, portending a storm on the lake.  We fishermen, with our nose for the weather, could feel it coming.  So, we stayed close to shore, huddled in the boat, ready to dash to safety.  

I waited for him in the dimly lit cell. Slowly, he was lowered, bound with ropes, through the small hole, into the confined space where I stood. The cell had no doors or windows, so no possibility of escape. The only way in or out was through the opening through which he was now passing.

Were you there when they crucified my Lord

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble.

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

You don’t know rejection. You may think you do. And of course, none of us lives for very long without experiencing some amount of it. But I am here to tell you that you don’t really know rejection as Jesus did. Not even close.

I’m an old man now. And like old men everywhere, I spend a lot of time reflecting. Reflecting on events that I have witnessed, reflecting on people I have known, and reflecting on my own life and what it all means. I hope my reflections are honest.

As I write this to you, the rabbi Jesus is being crucified. And I should be there. Yes, I should, but I am not. Am I too busy? Too occupied with important matters? Needed somewhere away for an emergency?

No, none of those. If I am completely honest with myself, I will admit that I am not there because I am afraid.

You know me. I appear in all four of the Gospels in your Bible. For a time, you may recall, I was thought to be a prostitute, saved by Jesus. Well, in truth, I was saved by Jesus, freed by his healing power from forces attacking me; but I was not a prostitute. In fact, I was a respectable woman who followed Jesus and who, along with others, gave financial support to his ministry. 

When his daughter Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests, and the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it.” And he swore to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom.” She went out and said to her mother, “What should I ask for?” She replied, “The head of John the baptizer.” Immediately she rushed back to the king and requested, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.”

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

When Jesus told us of the Holy Spirit, my brother apostles and I were not impressed. More than that, we were confused and frankly, disappointed. After all, we had been with Jesus for three years.

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. (John 1)

Please don’t call me a “doubter.” If you must call me anything at all, I prefer that you call me “a practical thinker.” This doubting thing, you see, has gone on far too long and you must help to dispel that image of me.

Thomas here again. Note I did not call myself “Doubting Thomas” as you might have desired, and if you did, that is your problem and not mine!

This time I want to talk with you about faith. Now, you may believe that someone like me would not be qualified to even bring up the subject of faith.

“So when they had come together, they asked him, ‘Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?’ He replied, ‘It is not for you to know the times or periods that the Father has set by his own authority.  But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.’”

My name is Ananias and this is my story. I have told it many times and each time, I pray that the retelling will glorify my Lord, Jesus Christ.

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John and realized that they were uneducated and ordinary men, they were amazed and recognized them as companions of Jesus. When they saw the man who had been cured standing beside them, they had nothing to say in opposition.

“After his suffering he presented himself alive to them by many convincing proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God. While staying with them, he ordered them not to leave Jerusalem but to wait there for the promise of the Father.” (Acts 1)

“How can you believe that stuff? Surely you have more sense. I thought you were smarter than that, but I guess I was wrong.”

Those were the words of my best friend, Cornelius. He and I go way back, all the way to our childhood in Ephesus, the city of our birth.

But now, something has come between us. Yes, and it’s become quite an obstacle to our friendship. And, if you guessed it’s my faith in Jesus Christ, you’d be correct!

“Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”